..ummm idk

im sitting here on myspace talking to my friend and wondering if tylers ever going to talk to me =/
im not sure what im going to do yet today. probly practice some skateboarding, and maybe take some more pics for myspace. =P
i dont know why ive been feeling kinda better latley but im sure glad i am......i was freakin out the past two days and i was miserable -.- ={
but for some reason right now im alright. im so happy cuz i actually fell asleep last night.
usually im on he phone or i just cant get to sleep and im crying...alot.
i cant wait for school to start. Goose creek high school looks really small and stuff but they seem nice. i know im going to be terrified on my first day. its been so long since i have walked into a school where absolutley no one knows me. its so scarey to me. ill be freaking out. but before the first day i have a testing day on the 12th and a freshman orientation on the 14th. the orientation will probly be the scarey part cuz thats my first day around all the other students....or the 12th idk but yeah w/e.
atleast here i have no reputation or anything. im the new kid so i have a new start. which is kinda kool. i know ill make new mistakes that'll just give me new reputations.
my old ones were like..emo,girl that goes out with gay guy, kissy face, or slut.
none of them were verey nice but i ignored it cuz i also had alot of friends who had my back.
i remember almost punching a girl in the mouth for the second one tho. i hated people talking about tyler....-.-



but im still a good person =] i do alot of good things too and they outnumber my stupid mistakes.

>=(

I AM SO ANGRY!! i just posted a whole blog about everything..but its gone it didnt post and i lost evrything i wrote. -_- i dont feel like writting all that over again but it was important....to me ={ ugh maybe ill be in the mood later

hulloooo

hi again =} i added a new playlist and also going to ask mom for new layout o.O
im having a good relaxed time right now and im glad. i wish i wouldnt have mood swings like i do x.x its starting to get on my own nerves XP. im listening to your gaurdian angel which always makes me think of my friends, its like OUR song. and hopefully ill get my laptop back soon so i can post our end of year video up on here and on myspace. or just MS idk......im kind of bored right now just waiting for my mom to get home but itll be a little while sooooo yeah... oh oh!!! AND i am also exited cuz today mom finally gets to call the modling agency, and hopefully thingsgo good....=/
and heres a pic of me being a bored dork down here in SC

hello o.o

hmm wow its been forever since ive writtin anything....i wounder if anyone still reads this..? =P i feel so retarted because i am soposed to keep writting....thats what this is for. .>=/ however i suck at keeping a steady journal,..
im in south carolina now with mom instead of dad
dad moved to florida, or actually he is kinda in the process of of moving there. i think he really likes it. the beauty the money(lol) the job, and the mood. its a really kool place i think,.
But yeah it sucks how all of this had to happen. and i think it just kind happend so quickly like...omg wait what just happend??? o.o i mean i just never thought my dad would actually move to florida so soon. he would always talk abut it and stuff but i never thought it would happen while i was in or GOING to high school. surprisingly although some people my think i am or should be, im not mad at my dad. he wants to be happy and fallow his dreams and im not going to be mad about that.
living with my mom isnt bad ive been wanting to escape to her for a long long time, because things at my moms have always been easier..in ways.
and yeah i am happy to be here because of my family and stuff but its so much harder than i actually thought it was going to be.....=/ i miss my friends soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much like and i get depressed really easily. i feel bad for doing that to my family and stuff but i dont really know how to stop being depressed....right now im actually doing fine tho im just sitting here chillin out in my pjs eatin strawberry milkshake oreos. yum yum ^_^
well i think thats it..for now
ill write again soon ^_^ =P
Buh bye

Bad BreakUp

Ofcourse i should have known that this wasnt going to end well when it actually happend.
no matter what it would have sucked...and it does, but its alittle worse than i imagined. i feel bad about breaking up with him ofcorse but i think it was the right thing for me to do. but now everythings chaos. hes mad at me and truth be told id rather him sit there and be mean and yell at me than just sit there doing nothing but be upset and cry. igess i like it better that way because i probly deserve it.
ive been mean to him but it wasnt his fault i just felt...idk what was wrong with me.....i just need my space
but i feel bad for it
finaly hes admitting that hes pissed at me for being a jerk. im not exactly sure what made me be so rude sometimes but i think it was because i was trying to push him away, maybe i could make him not like me so then it would be him breaking up with me...not the other way around.
...but it didnt happen like that.
ill never regret going out with him though
he was my first real boyfriend and i still like him, sometimes i find myself trying to to stare at him. but still...i rly think i did the right thing. i had my reasons.
i just hope by the end of the year we will all be friends again
and i kinda hope he doesnt read this....he probly wont though he doesnt read my posts.

Zippy School Year

End of third quarter....
woah, that went fast, this year is going by so fast i can barley stand it
somewhat glad tho this year sucked....for the most part. igess thats my fault tho...my dad said being sad is my choice and i bring it all on myself. i can kinda see what he is saying.....igess i mean but why would i choose to make myself miserable. thats stupid, and i nvr used to want to, so why would i want to now. well i am exited for the end of the year because we will get to have our promotion and go to cedar point. but the end of the year will prolly be pretty sad too. im going to be gone the whole summer in a diff. state with my mom so thats gona suck. and plus nxt year IF i get into LV most of my friends wont be there....they will be at BCC. id rather be at LV but im gonna miss my friends cuz i love them. =P friends are a big part of my lyf, they r all really important to me :)
If i dont get into lakeveiw tho... thers a good chance ill be going to school at my moms, which rlly sux cux then no tyler.....O.O
My dad gets mad at how much i talk about tyler, it makes me mad. he gets on my nerves with it. igess he doesnt want me doing anything stupid, but i mean seriusly..as if i had the tym. and it wouldnt matter cuz im not that stupid.

Even teachers were 14 once too! holey crap!

Ive had alot of adaults tell me, i was your age once too u know... i know what your going through. as a kid looking at them as adaults and how they are with us kids, this is hard fer me to believe. lol
true evryone one was a kid at one point. But doo you reallllyy remember what it was exactly like? how hard some things got. how confusing EVRYTHING got? well one of the the most hard to beleive of this is my science teacher Mrs.G
well today i was having another one of my zombie moments in science class. and for once after like the billionth time ive done this she talked to me....o.o woah......still even a bit shocked about it now. i really thought she didnt care. i mean shes a teacher.i figure she comes to work she teaches us, and our own personal lives dont matter. with her atleast.
but igess....i was wrong...? she told me that i could talk to her, and even gave me her #. i told her i didnt talk to my dad and she knows my mom doesnt live up here so the only person as an adault female that i evr really talk to is my choir teacher, who is usually busy so i try not to bug. and yeah i mean she just helped. which kinda makes me feel bad now cuz i nvr really liked her as a teacher. i thought she didnt care about her students. but like i said igess i was wrong.
i really hope i can stay out of trouble with my dad and just get on with my normal happy ungrounded life................ugh whens that going to be?!
ive been grounded fer ovr months! x_x so not even kool theres not even a point in it. i hate living with rly strict parrents.