Couldnt do it if i wanted to..........

What if i deleted every single one of my friends from michigan off of myspace....
I just have been starting to feel so stupid and pathetic, with missing them so much. i feel like i think about them to much. its making me hopelessly miserable and not only that but they've all pretty much moved on and forgotten about me. They have new friends that have filled my place. but this is good. i suppose..
I mean, im definatley happy in south carolina.!!! but theres this huge.....hole in me.
sometimes in my mind im still living in michigan when im talking to my friends and then i snap back into reality and it hurts.
i never thought i would leave so soon. then on one random day my dad got a call for this amazing job in florida...within a month i was gone. right now it feels like a big bleeding cut that wont freaking HEAL!


i feel like if i deleted everyone then maybe id forget about them and i wouldnt feel so stupid or feel that pain anymore.
but i just dont think i could do that........ :( :(

I Never know what to write for a title!!.......O.O

just got home from school., and hangin out with josh. hes finally dating miranda whoo hoo. :D i hope it works out. today was.....frusterating....-.- but for some reason im feeling alright now. i guess. untill i think about how much my mom makes me mad. >.> ugh i dont even want to go there. its just arguing over a lost cause!! and it just makes me even more angry. ive been trying the thing where you count to ten when your angry. it kinda works when i actually remember to stop and start counting. valentines day was really fun :] it was the first v-day where i felt like i actually had a valentine. xP and i got a teddy bear! i Also got to see RENT live and wow that was so fun. so im still having trouble with the whole being depressed and grouchy thing sometimes...and it really sucks. i wish i really knew how to change it. things havent been that bad though. ive actually been doing pretty good latley. really trying to get my grades up. i just wish there wasnt such a thing as homework tho! lol i still miss tyler every now and then. which in a way is kinda good because i dont want to forget about him :/ the tv woke me up playing one of our old songs the other day and it made me sad. :[ but idk. im just really glad were still friends and i mean, thats all i want. still think about ramon to... i feel sad to have to let go of my friends in MI and i obviously really dont want to. Erin is starting to give up on me,... i can tell. but lucas told her that just because im not there anymore doesnt mean were not still and always will be best friends. i told her that to but she doesnt listen.... it makes me sad to have to loose my friends., they just mean so much to me. I was thinking the other day about how you can never depend on anybody, except for yourself. thats when i was upset, and i kinda believe its true sometimes. depending on somebody whether it be a friend or a boyfriend, or a family member just sets you up to get let down. like there not always going to be there right by your side, to hold you up. idk..... THIS is a video i took from my cell of the play RENT. its one of my favorite songs in the play. the picture REALLY sucks but i still think its awesome because you can still here the actors singing. its at a part where they are in a circle talking about dealing with aids and when you watch it and listen to it. the song gives you goosebumps.


This one is another one of my definate favs in the play. "La Vie Bohem" you can see where the guy who plays mark slips while he tries to jump up on the table. i was like awww. lol but he was a really awesome actor and a great singer. he totally did a great job.