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Sunday, March 7, 2010

Its Sunday




The weekend flew by faster than ever, i knew it would.
I had alot of fun, went to see alice in wonderland with a bunch of awesome friends, hung out with josh ALOT, and went to the isle of palms. but now that it is sunday night i am back to my depressed mode. ):
school is my worst nightmare. my grades fall so quickly that i dont even have the motivation to attempt to rise them. its not like its going to work.
yes, i have friends at school....but not very many and no one close. no one thats always there.
i sit around 20 to 30 people or more and feel absolutley alone.
i know more than half of them talk crap about me behind me back.
i wish i could run away from it all. but i cant. and even though i feel completley and utterly useless and depressed. I have to put on my best fake smile, and get some work done.
i hate having to go through this, but ive learned alot of lessons.
like, the only person that will be there for you for the rest of your life....is yourself. so love yourself. and do the best you possibly can.



And after all of this crap that is going on, josh is moving this comming friday.
he has to be one of the most amazing people ive ever met. always has a smile on his face, and he does everything he can to make people around him happy. i dont know what i am going to do without josh ):
i feel so empty and so alone. life is so difficult ryt now.
and one of the worste parts is that marc doesnt care about me anymore...at all
he is so happy without me. he never even ONCE said, Meriya i am sorry for hurting you.
not once :(

1 comments:

Mental Notez said...

My sweet Mer Mer,
I know you feel like you are alone, that you think you are alone and no words I could say would change that. But, the truth it, you are NOT alone. Regardless of how mad you get at me, how frustrated I make you, I will ALWAYS love you and be there for you, and nothing in the world will ever change that!
And believe it or not, God does have the power to change the way you feel inside, to heal you, and to give you joy and peace. He is listening and always is with you. It's just hard for us sometimes to wait upon for all things are in God's time and not ours and believe me, what you are going thru will end and it will teach you something for that is why God gives us pain in life. As I have told you, it is what you do with the pain that makes you strong!
I love you baby girl!
Momma