God help me.

After all is said and done, i am the only one who ends up hurt. everyone else goes on in life with a smile, even marc. not me. im left with agony, depression and heartbreak. i feel so alone sometimes. everytime i think about him i just want to actually die to escape the pain. i keep thinking why did this happen. and then i guess its because marc started to hate me. ive been doing really stupid things latley and thinking really stupid thoughts. im only getting myself into deeper shit tho. i have a feeling this is going to take a very long time to get over and that doesnt help my mood.
i pray to god that he help me forget about marc. and then i start crying again.
i cant ever control myself from crying, everywhere i go it all just comes out. i feel so embaressed.
i wish god had the power to erase or help forget.
i wish god had the power to go back in time and help marc decide not to cheat on me.
i wish MARC really loved me. but since he really didnt
i wish I wouldnt have beleived his lies. dear god please help me. i need you right now because i am dead inside. please help bring me back to life. please help me to be happy again.